Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she looked like the before picture.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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