Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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