he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
