i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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