Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
