Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
