there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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