hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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