sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
