and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ok first of all what the fuck
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
