it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
