I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
