I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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