She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
