omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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