We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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