So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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