so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
