I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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