Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
