is your mom at the bar?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
be right there i have to get my cape
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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