sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
