Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
sex in a hospital.. check
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
