I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
