We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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