we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
