Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
