walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
