I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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