I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
