i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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