Already got asked if we're dating
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
