We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
