Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
