I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i out mim tonsoeep
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
