Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
