:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
