I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We had to coat check the pizza.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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