question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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