i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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