Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
