If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
