He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
