are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
