I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
