I'm going to jail i love you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
