ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
