he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
