I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I pour the whiskey from now on
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
