just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
